My Cambodian Love Story - How It Began

My eternal flame of love that burns for Cambodia was first sparked in 2009.  I had been living in North Richmond, the Vietnamese neighborhood of Melbourne, Australia and I was intrigued.  I decided I wanted to go to Vietnam, and when a trip to Bali with a boyfriend fell through— because we broke up just before the trip— I easily changed my ticket, which was routed through Kuala Lumpur on Air Asia.  (In a strange twist of irony, I’m writing you this story from Bali now.)

I went with the intention of traversing the well-trodden ‘tourist trail’ through Vietnam, and the Southeast Asian way of life instantly shocked and impressed me.  Although I didn’t find the Vietnamese to be the friendliest people in the region, I didn’t really know any difference at that point or have a basis for comparison, so it was a good way to start things off.  I couldn’t believe that this was how majority of the world (i.e. the people of the Asian continent) were living:

It made me think a lot about my life and changed my world view tremendously in a very short time.  I was to spend a full month in Vietnam, but I had already planned before leaving Australia to take three days out of that month to pop over to Siem Reap, Cambodia and see the temples of Angkor Wat.  It would be a rushed trip but I wasn’t sure if or when I would be able to return to the region, or if I would even WANT to return, and I knew that Angkor Wat was one of those ‘must-see’ places.

I started the Vietnam trip in the north, in the city of Hanoi.  I stayed in a hostel there where I met many other young travelers who had just arrived from Laos.  They raved about the tubing in Vang Vieng and the beauty of Laos’s cultural capital, Luang Prabang.  Hmmm… I thought.  What if I can get through Vietnam just a little bit faster and spend 6 days in Laos also to visit these two places?  Before I had even left Hanoi, I re-routed my plane ticket to take me to Laos first on the way to Cambodia, before catching flights back to Saigon (in southern Vietnam), back to Kuala Lumpur (where I had to switch planes) and finally back home to Melbourne.

Vietnam did not inspire me.  The landscapes and Asian way of life were impressive.  The kids were cute but the adults, how can I say this diplomatically?  Not so friendly.  Really pushy.  Aggressive.  Mean.  They always acted incredibly offended by your bargaining efforts when really THEY were the ones trying to get 10x the real value out of you. (e.g. $20 for a fridge magnet? You must be having a laugh.  Oh wait, you’re not? Then fuck you.)  Maybe they feel scorned from the war and hold it against the white folks.  I was a little embarrassed to be an American there, but I usually got “Obama!” and a smile as a response to answering honestly the question “Where are you from?”  Still, I only really enjoyed my time in a few places (Sapa, Hoi An and Dalat being the best) and I was happy to be getting out and going to Laos, where supposedly the people were a lot more friendly.

And they were, albeit a bit shy, but probably due to a lack of knowledge of the English language.  Tubing was fun, something I recommend even the older and more serious travelers, just for the natural beauty of the surrounding area and novelty and silliness of the tubing experience.  I was shocked, after my experiences in Vietnam, that a little granny with a few missing teeth sold me a beer lower than asking price just because she didn’t have the correct change.  What a stark difference!

Then to Luang Prabang, which was stunningly beautiful and full of good vibes.  Of course, as in anywhere in Southeast Asia, there were children selling trinkets.  A little girl (pictured below) convinced me to buy from her a purple bracelet, to match my mostly purple outfit.  Even when I wasn’t buying anything, they were just down to chat and practice their English, and they were so darn cute.

I discovered an NGO in Luang Prabang called “Big Brother Mouse”, a local book publisher that makes children’s books, some in Lao language, and some with Lao text and English text side by side.  The books cost $1-$2 and you can buy some to give to the kids who are forced by their parents or whomever to wander the streets at all hours of the day and night pushing trinkets.  Kids would come up to me with their trays of bracelets and little Buddhas and I would offer them a book instead.  They were elated, and as I walked away I would turn around to seem them having taken a break on a bench or the sidewalk, distracted from their labour and enthralled by the books.  And amazed that I had given them a gift.  

This filled my heart with so much joy.  I was having lunch one day when two or three girls came up to me at my table, trying to sell me whatever little souvenirs for which I had no need.  I told them that if they could find me tomorrow, I would take them to Big Brother Mouse to buy them books.  We ran into each other again the next day and they lead me to the shop.  As we walked through the town, more kids joined our group and suddenly I turned around and saw that I had amassed a posse of 12 kids who were keen for some books!!  I obliged but made some of them pose for a photo in exchange for the gifts:

I started to feel something.  I couldn’t quite put it into words but I knew that I loved Laos, the people were gracious and kind, the place was beautiful, and it was a smart idea to cut out of Vietnam early and take the opportunity to check it out.  Next stop was Cambodia, my final three days in this South East Asian adventure.

And, well, wow.  Wow wow wow.  One of the first thoughts that came to mind, as strange as this may sound, was Now I understand what Angelina Jolie was on about it!  It doesn’t take a visit to the Killing Fields to gain a deeper understanding for what happened there in the 70s and 80s, when Pol Pot’s regime (the Khmer Rouge) committed an atrocious genocide, decimating about a fifth of the population, and absurdly killing most of Cambodia’s middle class as well as anyone unable to hide their decent education or intelligence (even those with bad eyesight- people wearing glasses were assumed to be smart because it proved they could read).  And yet… and yet.  The people of Cambodia were the warmest and friendliest I had ever encountered, despite the devastation of the genocide and fallout that ensued.  Their smiles seemed more genuine than the rest; they’re welcoming attitudes warmed me.  The children!!  Sweet little angels, all of them, who I feel, deserved so so so much better.  I felt an inexplicable affinity to this little place and its people.

Seeing life in Siem Reap made me seriously re-examine my own.  How could I have grown up with so much and still be so miserable?  How could I have taken so much for granted in my life?  Why wasn’t I born poor somewhere like this, like the majority of the world, but instead, in Marin County- one of the safest, wealthiest, most visually-stunning places on the planet?  Whyyyyy?  These questions weighed heavily on me for months to follow.

The Cambodians, in my experience, didn’t show any resentment towards Westerners, despite the fact that the Vietnam War more than spilled over into most regions Cambodia, most telling by all the people with missing limbs due to accidental encounters with unexploded land mines from that era.  They seemed happy with our presence and grateful to have a rising tourist industry, having had all of their other industries and infrastructure suffer such major blows, and having been basically closed to outsiders since the war ended and for much longer after that.

I felt lucky.  Lucky to have the opportunity to visit Cambodia and be exposed to it all… to have these experiences that were so life altering for me.  And it all started with this guy:

Prom, manager of the Golden Takeo Guesthouse.  I don’t know how I found the guesthouse, maybe a quick Google search for accommodation, but Prom hooked me up!  I wanted a room with aircon for myself, which he discounted since the all the aircon rooms at the time were for two or more people.  I wanted to take the helium balloon to see the sunset over the temples my first night.  I wanted to watch sunrise from the hill the next morning and see the ‘big 3’ temples, Angkor Wat, Angkor Thom and Ta Prohm.   I’d need a tuk-tuk driver to pick me up from the airport and take me around to get all of this done in a very short period.  Prom replied quickly to my request, telling me it was all sorted, and just needing to know, “you are Ms. Or Mr.?”  I landed at the airport and met Tee Tee the tuk-tuk driver, who remains my good friend:

One of these three days staying at Golden Takeo, between all this temple touring and various bouts of yucky tummy, I took a seat in the lounge and was chatted up by a British guy, Dan, who offered me a beer out of the fridge like he owned the place (it was kind of his home for the past two months).  He told me he had been volunteering at an orphanage with his girlfriend Cat since October.  They had come to Siem Reap on their way to Australia with working holiday visas, similar to mine which had just expired.  It was not their first time in Siem Reap, but they came back to see the Ruluos Group (some temples further afield) during the wet season.  They had met some kids from the orphanage selling wood carvings and started volunteering there.  They never made it to Australia.

I expressed interest in visiting the place and Dan told me I was most welcome.  The morning of my last day before my flight out of town I went to see what it was all about.  The kids swarmed me, asking me all sorts of questions using whatever English they knew, took me by the hands and led me to the spirit house in the field behind the center.  

On that fateful day I met Sue Wiggans, a retired British primary school teacher who had met the children in a similar way as Dan and Cat while touring Cambodia the previous year.  She had returned to volunteer for 8 weeks and she gave me a little bit more insight into the situation and the extreme poverty that had inspired her to action.

I decided that day that I would return to Cambodia and volunteer with the kids as well the following year, 2010.  So it wasn’t to be my first and last trip to Southeast Asia after all….